Wasn’t your mom a nurse?

In the comments of my last post Kanani, referring to me and my father, asks: “Wasn’t your ma nurse? The two of you must have driven her nuts.”
Which happens to remind me of an incident I had in Kindergarten. You know, way back in the Old Corps. My family was stationed in Okinawa and I attended a Catholic school out in town.
One afternoon I was a victim to a freak accident involving a swing set, some poor judgment, and a sprained ankle. It was one of those times where an adult asks the child: “Why in the world did you do that?” Of course, never in the history of mankind has there been a coherent, logical answer to this question.
According to my father’s version of events, he picked me up from school with my foot wrapped in Ace bandages and I was perfectly fine. On the way home we no doubt seriously conversed about superheroes, sword fighting, and how U.S. Marines totally kick butt on everyone else (I was indoctrinated young).  This took a sudden and dramatic turn when we got home. I cried out for my mother as I crossed the threshold dragging my now useless and crippled limb behind me.
My father was nonplussed at my histrionics, but I maintain he was merely envious he hadn’t thought of it first.

Semper Fidelis,
America’s 1stSgt

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14 comments

  1. 1. Is coherent and logical. You have to be under 12 to “get it.”
    2. Want incoherence and illogic: the Lance Corporal’s salute with obligatory, accompanying “I dunno.”
    3. Append Sgt or sir to the last.
    4. It always seems like a good idea at the time.
    V/R JWest

  2. The classic is when small kid falls and “hurts” knee – then looks to see if Mommy is watching before bursting out in tears….Suck it up , kid, you’re not bleeding and you can still walk.

  3. I think I gave my mom a few heart attacks…. I cut my ankle really bad (don’t ask) and was leaving a blood trail all the way home…I got home and found some masking tape in the garage and patched me up.
    I got yelled at…so a few years later when I was about 8 and broke my leg, I tried crawling home so I wouldn’t get yelled at. I almost made it to…

  4. I think I gave my mom a few heart attacks…. I cut my ankle really bad (don’t ask) and was leaving a blood trail all the way home…I got home and found some masking tape in the garage and patched me up.
    I got yelled at…so a few years later when I was about 8 and broke my leg, I tried crawling home so I wouldn’t get yelled at. I almost made it to…

  5. I’m an Assistant Scoutmaster in a
    Boy Scout Troop. We take the kids out in the woods a lot, of course. These are suburban kids who are used to going through life where their helicopter mommies have ensured that everything is padded and everything that isn’t padded is kept well away from their darlings.

    Then they go out with us and trip over a rock and fall down. There’s no marks at all, but they burst into tears. They want to call Mommy, but we take away their cell phones. I have a look (sometimes they DO get a bad cut or something) and then tell them “You’re not bleeding, nothing’s broken, get up and shut up and let’s go.” The incredulity of this concept often shuts them up. But if they keep whining they find that they’re going to get left behind, so after a while they get over it. But they’ll be injured all over again when they get home.

  6. JWest, the scary part is when the LCpl says “I dunno.” I actually believe him.

    Magoo, Mummy? Like Egyptian curse?

    Leslie, whenever I see a little kid take a header like that I immediately command them to get up. “You’re not hurt get up!”

    CI Roller, in Okinawa my mother was terrified I would get bitten by a habu viper. She would admonish me not to play in the woods/jungle because of the danger. Exploring the jungle was the number one thing my friends and I did.

    NavyOne, big shoulders, bellies, do you even have such a thing as unit PT?

    Ron, a couple of years after the incident posted I cut my knee in front of our house in Hawaii. Upon seeing what, from my perspective, seemed like a river of blood I burst into tears. My father immediately responding with: “&%$#*%$##&[email protected]!” I remember being shocked and thinking this wasn’t how the scenario was supposed to play out.

    Shay, zombies are always on topic.

  7. To my knowledge I’m not DNA related to a Marine, but I might show signs. There have been a few times doctors have wanted to admit me into a hospital, where I cordially informed them I didn’t have time to waste in a hospital. Needless to say I didn’t die. Then there was the time I was the passenger in a roll over car accident when I was 16 years old. Every panel had a dent and the car was inverted resting on it’s roof. I calmly called my mom and let her know I was in a “minor accident.” Later, when being interview by Highway Patrol, and seeing pictures, the CHP wanted to know how I got out, since the vehicle was caved in. I told him in all the movies cars blow up, so I clawed my way out. I was determined. He shook his head. My mom looked over the pictures of the unrecognizable truck and calmly asked me what a “serious accident was if this was minor.” I told her a serious accident is when someone dies. Her eyes bugged out. I suppose I should note I was wearing a seat belt, I had the bruise to prove it. I also had a broken shoulder, a concussion, and skinned knees. And no… it didn’t knock any sense into me =]

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