The Broke [email protected]# Challenge

It would seem I make more of an impact within my sphere of influence than I initially thought. As soon as I went under the knife for shoulder surgery everyone on the staff suddenly became sickbay commandos. My Corpsman had surgery, one of my SSgts severely injured his Achilles tendon and underwent surgery, another Marine was diagnosed with bone spurs. If the SgtMaj is broke, everybody is broke. At least I know I have an influence over them I guess.

Since I began physical therapy I’ve taken to walking around the training center challenging all my broken ninjas. I squared off with Cpl Bone Spurs : “My shoulder’s screwed up and your feet are screwed up. I’m going to crush you on the physical fitness test in June.”  Similar challenges were issued to the rest of my malingerers. I’ve called it: The Broke [email protected]# Challenge. Yes, that word is actually in our lexicon. By June I expect to be able to do enough pull ups to pass the physical fitness test. I’ll have to make up enough points to smash everyone else in the run and sit ups portion of the test. 

There are always second and third order of affects related to your actions. Many of these are often unforeseen. Yesterday afternoon, the good Cpl stood in my office door jangling his bone spurs: “SgtMaj, I ran four and a half miles on the elliptical today. Just saying…”

I had NOT done any PT that day so far. Other items were vying for my attention and I was considering skipping PT in favor of work related nonsense.  I cursed the young Marine as I peeled off my cammies, hurling uniform items across the office. I climbed into my PT gear and headed to gym where the elliptical machine and my rehab exercises awaited.

The problem with throwing down the gauntlet is someone will likely pick it up. Now I must grind their bones for my bread.

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

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8 comments

  1. In one section I had, all of us military guys were simultaneously on medical profile (that’s what the USAF calls it, dunno you Marines say) for some reason or another – various dings and whatnot.

    Then a new NCO came in who was perfectly healthy. Being the noob, a couple of the crips drafted him to help them turn in some surplus equipment. About an hour later, I got a call that the Noob had tripped carrying a computer monitor up a stair and saved an obsolete piece of junk from destruction by sacrificing his ankle in the process. He was now on the way to the clinic.

    After awhile, the NCO in charge of the detail reported back in, apologizing with “Sorry I broke the new guy, sir.”

  2. Oh don’t act all surprised and such.

    If Marines can be counted on for something, it’s taking a challenge and throwing it right back in the face of the challenger.

    I did get myownself broke d***ed once, for darn near real.

    I got a bit o’ the ol’ Bed Rest and a stretch of light duty. All it took was a 30 leave in the Philippines!

    – Grimmy

  3. 1. Good luck on the pullups with a bum shoulder.
    2. Rotator cuff issues pretty well have ended my pullup days.
    3. Way back when, most of us smoked.Would do my 3 miles in between 19 and 19:20. Had to max pullups and situps to assure my 285 PFT score.
    4. Got off the pullup bar and was confronted by the SSGT who was the unit PT stud.
    5. Sez he: “You were kipping, sir. You’ll have to get back on the bar and do ’em dead hang.”
    6. Sez me: “OK SSGT, give me a minute to recover and we’ll try again.”
    7. He allowed me 13 of my next set -and there it stood.
    8. Dimly remembered someone saying the Corps was putting it’s foot down on kipping. Warned my friends on the BN staff that the SNCO’s were on the warpath against PT malefactors.
    9. As a SGTMAJ, particularly one who is not retired on duty, you’ll be as much under the big eye as I ever was.
    10. Doing pullups with a bum shoulder forces me to be extremely slow and deliberate. Might be able to do four or five before the pain gets to me. Hope it works better for you.
    11. Think of it as practice for geezerhood.
    V/R JWest

  4. Eric, I can count on one hand the number of days I’ve been put on light duty in 20 years. Of course, at this point in my career I can decide if certain types of PT will aggravate any injuries.

    Miss Em, Monkeys is probably an apt description.

    Eric, who knew life in the Air Force could be so dangerous? Ha!

    Grimmy, truth be told it was all part of my master plan to get everyone on the recovery band wagon.

    JWest, I’ve been a strict dead hanger since I was a Sgt. I never wanted there to be any question on whether I was doing it right or not. I’ll be satisfied if I can do 3 good ones by the end of June.

  5. America’s SgtMaj:

    Yeah, I kinda figured that lol.

    The two most sure moto statements to fire up Marines:

    1. You can’t do that.
    2. I can do that better than you.

    – Grimmy

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