He further states: “Back in the old days, the Marine Corps and the Navy used to scrap, to brawl, quite a bit. By my count, the Navy won 52.33% of all these fights.”
NavyOne fails to mention his figures are based solely on Navy/Marine pie eating contests, which I can attest Sailors are quite adept at.
|Pie eating, Naval historians consider this a key factor in America’s victory in the Pacific.|
This tradition has continued into the 21st Century. The Department of the Navy will not tolerate a pie gap as we face new threats across the globe. The future may be uncertain, but America can rest assured her Navy can throw down some pie!
|Navy SEALs prepare to embark on a perilous mission.|
Sailors who excel at the consumption of pie are promoted to Chief and given a no shave chit. These individuals are particularly hazardous at sea. As a Lance Corporal I was on a submarine once and every time Marines would fill a passageway the Sailors would roll a Chief into the narrow hall to see how many of us they could crush to death. Our only warning was the traditional “Make way!” whereupon we futilely pressed our lean frames against the bulkhead in a vain attempt to escape our fate.
In the end, we Marines must humbly bow our heads to our Navy brethren in recognition of their superior ability to consume prodigious amounts of baked goods. It could be the cornerstone of our national strategy to keep America free.