Whenever we deployed a platoon we staged their equipment at the Naval Support Activity’s area of the runway at the military airport. Marines being the paranoid types we are when it comes to gear adrift, we always posted an armed guard on our goodies.
One night as our lance corporal gear guard swaggered about his post armed with an M-9 pistol, he struck up a conversation with a female Sailor posted nearby on similar duty. In an egregious violation of General Order #7: Talk to no one except in the line of duty, our hero began to chat up the Sailor.
In between sharing tales about his inflated adventures during his short career, the LCpl also boasted of his physical prowess. At one point he even went so far as to kick up into a handstand and began to do hand stand push ups. This is when gravity took over and his M-9 tumbled from its holster and clattered onto the deck.
Having seen enough, the Sailor reported the antics of the creepy Marine to her immediate supervisors. They in turn, contacted said named Marine’s platoon sergeant. This gentleman was a bull necked thug with a tattoo which read GRENDEL going down one beefy forearm. It didn’t take a crystal ball to see where this was headed.
Eventually the handstand ninja made it to my office where he was counseled with vigor. If memory serves I advised him to use his head from something besides a hat rack, then questioned his cognitive ability to do so. Next I asked him how he was going to explain to his wife about how he got in trouble because he was flirting with a Sailor while on post. And by the way, if he ever approached said Sailor again I would cut out his liver with a sledgehammer.
It took all my will power not to bury a tomahawk in his temple. If only there a way to conduct a non-punitive trial by combat. I’m certain my disciplinary issues would dry up most riki tik. Naturally, I am always ready to enforce such a policy if needed.
|A rack of counseling tools on display in my office.|