• April 9, 2009
  • 16

NOT going my way…

Another long day of travel sprinkled liberally with stretches of waiting around and I have arrived at my final destination.

We’ve been very busy the past couple of days here in scenic Al Assad. Once on deck there are a battery of classes we must undergo before we are allowed to go “outside the wire”. This serves to remind the Marines of where they are and get them caught up on the AO. We also spend a little time at the range making sure our weapons are properly zeroed ensuring deadly pin point accuracy.

Other than that things have been pretty much not been going my way. It isn’t always big events that cause stress and/or traumatic brain injury in 1stSgts. Sometimes it is just a litany of little things that just can’t go right. Things like the bag of Kona Coffee that I mailed myself breaking open in the package. Or realizing that I forgot to pack a laundry bag. Or trying to figure out how to make the lock on my door function properly before I rip it right off the &^$# hinges!

Most of the real issues I have all concern equipment and personnel accountability in one form or another. I am convinced that if I were simply issued five feet of bamboo cane and given free reign in its liberal use, the majority of my issues would suddenly vanish. No really, I believe this.

Yet another incident currently vexing me involves a bottle of water, my personal laptop, and someone’s buttocks. This one really didn’t go my way. Suffice it to say my computer is no longer functioning.

Smashing my forehead against the corner of my desk sounds appealing, but my predecessor has already gnawed it clean off.

Like I said, NOT going my way.

/ / / /


  1. I guarantee that if you went out and beat the shit out of a private or a second lieutenant you would feel much better. Losing a computer is one thing, but the coffee…someone would have to pay big time.

  2. One suspects you can overcome and adapt to the missing laundry bag, and evidently you’ve been resourceful regarding internet access.

    But the ruined bag of coffee…that truly is the suck.

  3. I’d say you’re whining again… but no coffee is nothing to laugh at.

    Working on stuff to help from here.

    Oh, the Chicklet has agreed to let you handle the wolves and octoboys. How’s that?

  4. Top,
    You didn’t do the sacrafice to the “Oh Crap Gods”.
    First you have to find a totally useless 2nd LT…that should be easy, if not, let me know and I’ll send you a few Army types.
    Take the TU2LT (Totally Useless 2nd LT) out and remove all useful items (weapons, ammo, cell phones PDAs, wallet, etc)
    Tie them to a pole. Pour fuel (stuff from CH46 works good) on them.
    Set on fire and pray to the Gods that all the bad spirits go away.
    You will feel better. The command will thank you and you may save lifes on the deployment.

  5. 1st Sgt,
    Since I have 2 nephews who are fairly new jarheads, your writing makes me laugh and wonder how they are feeling. One is headed your way soon, and the other is to go to the Stan.

    Thanks for keeping us informed. You do it well.

    Oh, as for the coffee? Ever tried Devil Dog Brew? I prefer the Sniper’s Brew myself, both are equally good. If you’d like a bag or two, give me a shout.

  6. To all, yes the coffee situation sucks. I have not had a decent cup of
    the black elixir of life in a week. The chow hall’s coffee is so much
    black water filtered through a sock I suspect.

    Sarge, CI Roller, CoffeyPot, the heat of my anger has been known to
    cause Lts to spontaneously combust. My XO is most often the target of my
    angst. But that is the subject of another post.

    Ky Woman, did you say something about coffee? Did the sky clear up just
    a little bit?

  7. Yes. Happy Easter, brother. Bought you Starbucks coffee yesterday. I told them where it was going and they gave me cups,sleeves and lids…shaking head. Go ahead and eat that chocolate Ann, you, too Dianne, lest we create a monster.

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