• September 12, 2009
  • 7

Martial arts training: Your manhood can be held suspect…

I may have mentioned previously that in Marine Corps culture physical capability is a measure of credibility. This makes sense, if you consider that in our occupation, if you have to sprint down the street with 100lbs of equipment wrapped around you while engaging evil doers in a running gun battle, it sure is comforting to know your guys will still be nearby squeezing off accurate rounds instead of blowing chow all over their boots 200 or more meters behind you.

Among the many yardsticks we have is the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program. The program is rather rough and tumble. Those who wish to be held in higher regard tend to seek out instructors with a reputation for “destroying bodies.” I mean really, would you want to take throat punching lessons from someone you thought was milquetoast?

Here is a recent e-mail exchange between two of my Marines, I’ll let you guess which of them is a recent graduate of the Martial Arts Instructor Course:

From: Cpl K
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 3:40 PM
To: Cpl H
Importance: High



There will be MCMAP today! 1600!


Cpl K

From: Cpl H
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 3:42 PM
To: Cpl


I’m not gonna make it today, I gotta get some stuff done before I leave. Go ahead, call me a bitch, I know you want to.

Cpl H

From: Cpl K
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 3:49 PM
To: Cpl H
Importance: High


Dear Mr. Weaksauce,

Thank you for your recent message. We were disappointed to learn of your current stance regarding your commitment to the MCMAP program. Unfortunately we cannot accept your answer, and send this letter as a requirement to attend prescribed training. Should you have any problems, please feel free to
contact our Human Resource Department(http://www.wedontcare.com/ or 1.888.YOU.SUCK). Thank you again for your business, and we look forward to
serving you in the future.



Cpl H was pretty much called girls’ names all day. And these are my administrators! I love my guys.

Semper Fidelis,

America’s 1stSgt

/ / / /


  1. Top,
    You gotta’ stay in shape to hump all that shit.
    I turned 49 years old when I was in Iraq. There was a few times I had to stop and help one of my 20 something year olds hump his crap.
    It was kicking my ass, but I’d be damned if I was going to show it for one second. I figured I could cry about when I got home.
    Keep them in shape, and ask the 20 year olds: “Do you think you’ll be able to do this when you’re 49…or 53?”

  2. CI Roller, don’t worry, I live to crush 18 year old punks into the ground. When they are getting obliterated by a man twice their age itbrings me all kinds of satisfaction. On the down side, a number of them have risen to the occasion and are starting to whoop me once in a while.I still shoot better though.

    Saker, unfortunately the 10% that make all the trouble get most of my attention and take away from time that I would prefer spending on the real Marines.

    Kanani, I’ll use it on someone. There’s always a volunteer lingering about.

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