In the future, deployments still suck.

Saw this on Terminal Lance’s Facebook page and thought it was funny.  It encapsulates the feeling many military types feel at the prospect of a life of overseas adventure only to end up touring a number of hazardous destinations all competing for the title of bung hole of the world. 

Of course, the alternative would be to get stationed in outer space waxing the floors of the Death Star, bleaching your stormtrooper helmet because Darth Vader’s shuttle is about to land, and conducting 1st echelon maintenance on grimy trash compactors.

There is no doubt in my mind the Tatoonine stormtroopers regard their Death Star counterparts with a certain amount of disdain. As a matter of fact, the stormtroopers out in the dunes shooting up Jawas and Sandpeople probably openly despise the Mos Eisley pogues who are conducting droid searches in between PX runs and stops at the cantina.

“You don’t need to see his liberty card. These are not the lance corporals you are looking for.”

Finally, in the Marines we historically put a lot of weight in marksmanship. Stormtroopers aboard the Death Star are notoriously horrific shots. I suspect an overabundance of weapons maintenance could be the culprit but it’s more likely Death Star security forces are just weak sauce. In contrast, the Tatooine detachment of stormtroopers were dead eye killers.

“And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperical stormtroopers are so precise.” At least planet side stormtroopers are.

So when you’re in the Imperial stormtrooper recruiting office and they give you a choice between duty space side or planet side, remember what you are signing up for. As for me, I’ll take Tatooine.

UPDATE: Was directed to this article on Reddit decrying the myth that Imperial stormtroopers were lousy shots. I like the article but I prefer my grunt vs. pogue view of the stormtrooper issue.

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

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  1. Between 1973 and 1977, I spent 3 years and 8 months in the Marines (medical discharge, truck accident). I spent 3 years of it at 29 stumps. I loved it out there. Between the time of the accident and my discharge, they couldn’t think of anything for me to do. They sent me out to the range and I spent the last 6 months of my tour teaching and coaching Marines in the fine art of rifle craft. I knew that high scoring expert badge would come in handy for something.

    The CWO4 in charge was lax enough that we liked being there and tough enough that we never had a UNK leave our ranges.

  2. I feel your pain at sucking at basketball. Not only do I have none of the skills required to play, I am also short. How short? I am about 5 feel tall. Children can jump higher than me standing. it’s sad.

  3. Robert, doesn’t sound like too bad a time to me.

    MJ, I’m not exactly genetically gifted in that department either. I advise you to make up the difference with excellent rifle and pistol marksmanship.

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