Ice Cream!

The other day I was eating evening chow at the DFAC when I saw one of my body compositionally challenged Marines approach the dessert bar. Ice cream bowl in hand, he leaned forward in anticipation, eyes wide with joy as he took his place in line.

Without thought, my voice boomed across the chow hall,
“Hey stud! Maybe for you, not so much with the ice cream, ya’ think?”

He scrunched his shoulders forward and motioned with his fingers as if to ask, “Just a little bit 1stSgt, just a little bit? Please?”

Baring my fangs not unlike a wild striped hyena, I let him know that he could eat all the ice cream he wanted, but he would be PTing with me first thing in the morning.

Gutbag immediately slapped the empty bowl on the counter and walked away from the dessert bar without a backward glance.

Apparently, pain makes a more lasting impact than mint chocolate chip.

Semper Fidelis,

America’s 1st Sgt.

/ / / /


  1. Akemalu, for a small fee I can arrange to come over to your house and yell at you all you like. 🙂

    Army Duck, keeping them in line is one thing. Keeping their waist line is quite another. Trying to make the boys understand about nutrition isa challenge. I had a Marine once who completely folded during a particularly grueling training exercise. That night at chow I saw that he filled his tray with nothing but desserts. I nearly killed him.

  2. Anndi, your need to affix femenine attributes to my manly character are disturbing and will only serve to confuse any children surfing this site.

    The Marines in my charge are not chicks to be protected but living weapons that must be always clean and ready in the event I have to unleash them in the righteous defense of our nation.

  3. Ha! That’s funny. Just let us know that he can earn the ice cream somehow. I mean, a man’s gotta have something to enjoy over there!

  4. Keeping a young man away from his icecream seems unAmerican to me. No! Wait! You guys are fighting for Mom’s Apple Pie, not icecream. Well done, Top.

  5. Southern, if all he ever had was a little ice cream, he wouldn’t be out of Marine Corps height and weight requirements. Problem is they eat
    nothing but trash.

    Katherine, no doubt in my mind he probably eats there on the regular when I am not around. If he didn’t he probably wouldn’t be overweight.

    T, the food is great over here. Stay tuned for my next post.

    Coffey, just trying to do my duty for America and the free world.

    Noelle, puhleeease give me a break. Taking care of Marines means sometimes making them do things they don’t want to do; wear body armor in 120 degree heat, use seat belts, PT, EAT FOOD and not CRAP.

  6. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’ll start fluffing pillows and getting facials. You’re not THAT in touch with your feminine side… yet.

  7. Top,
    When in Baghdad, we always had things like Ice Cream and good chow. However, when I was at Camp Gannon (on the border of Syria) with a bunch of Devil Dogs, we never had anything like that….all canned rations, no cold drinks, only a few places even had AC…but they had plenty of ammo….so I’d take my lads out and train as often as we could with our weapons…I lost 15 pounds while there…but when I got back to Baghdad, I made it up.

    Do you know if Camp Gannon is still out there? It was right at the 90 degree turn of Iraq by Syria.

  8. It continues to amaze me that as much as the Marine Corps stresses physical fitness that it allows McDonalds and Burger King on the base.
    In some cases, between that and pizza delivery, it is all a Marine will eat. Sick.

  9. My cure for fat bodies always was:
    PT with the platoon in the morning
    PT with the Gunny at lunch
    PT with the Lt. @ 1800

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