Hot mike! Heard in the clear.

In military vernacular, a ‘hot mike’ is a radio gaffe involving a stuck or open microphone. Usually the subject broadcasting is unaware they are being heard across the net. In my case it takes the form of hastily scribbled notes with a pen and notebook.  Here are some more gems heard in the clear.

Watching movies with a Marine can either enhance or ruin the experience. My tastes lean towards the former, go figure:
“In the movies, Thor, Odin and the rest of the Asgardians live in a huge shining city. How come they never show the Lance-gardians who have to polish it all the time?”

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Concerning repairing Cleveland roads after a harsh winter:
“They built the pyramids faster!”

Tactics, techniques, and procedures (TTPs) may vary from unit to unit, but some rules are universally inviolate:
“Lifting your feet off the floor boards of your HMMWV and shouting: ‘no whammies,’ is not a valid IED countermeasure.”

Outrage, the second leading cause of obesity in America:
“If self-righteous anger was a snack food, all of America’s couches and computers would be covered in its crumbs and surrounded by its empty bags.”

I’ve always valued the opinion of a strong woman, particularly an armed one:
“You can’t educate a rapist to not be a rapist. You can, however, bust a cap in his ass.”

In context with the quote above, proper support is essential:
“I’d hate to blow someone’s brains out without a bra on.”

It’s that time of year, steel yourself:
“They wouldn’t stand for someone cornering you to sell meth or heroin on the way out of a grocery store, but they’ll let Girl Scouts sling Thin Mints like it’s a good idea or something. Dammit!”

Carry on with the plan of the day!

America’s SgtMaj

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