“Here in America we don’t tolerate that kind of crap sir!”

Part II of IV

In July of 1997 posters advertising the game were plastered all over town. “Earthquake Headed To Dublin”, they read, “Touchdown Imminent!” Cheerleaders appeared on the corners of every street handing out pamphlets. Irishmen gathered in pubs nationwide and wondered allowed. “What in the world is American football anyway? Why can’t they play a proper game?”

Meanwhile, we carried on working and escorting important type people to functions by and for the NFL. One night we got all spiffed up in our dress blues and escorted Ambassador Jean Kennedy Smith and her brother Senator Ted Kennedy to a charity dinner in support of Irish Special Olympics.

I had two Marines stationed at the entrance with M-14 rifles (for drill only) like sentries guarding the entrance to the dining room. When the Ambassador entered they snapped to attention and came to a sharp present arms terribly impressing everyone as I escorted her to her table. I pulled out the Ambassador’s chair and once seated I took a position nearby to watch the show. I really don’t remember too much of it except that the host was a well known Irish comedian who nearly lost all his teeth that night.

As the dinner was coming to a close and it was time for me to escort the Ambassador from the dinning hall I approached her table and came to attention. The Irish comedian took it upon himself to begin jumping around me and asking questions like: “Are you one of those guys who can’t move no matter what I do? Are you allowed to talk or anything?Hello?Hello?” This was much like an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer asks many of the same questions.

Our Irish friend fared far better than Homer much to the relief of Irish-American diplomatic relations. I remained at attention while this fool jumped around me like a lunatic. I considered grabbing him by his throat and crotch then hurling him through the nearest window, but I was there for the Ambassador not for myself, so he got a pass. The guests all appreciated my willpower as well and applauded that fact that I didn’t perform a disembowelment so soon after dessert. Jean Kennedy Smith took my arm and patted it saying: “Very good.” She knew what her boys were capable of.

More tolerance in part three!

America’s 1stSgt

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  1. That`s called “proper manners”. It proves my image of you so far.
    I would have applauded you for giving that “comedian” an proper exit from that dinner as well. At least this would have been an amusing performance for that comedian!

  2. It’s amazing what people will do if they think that they can get away with it.

    Some stuff just shouldn’t be messed with, though. It’s not worth taking the risk.

  3. Of course it was the Kennedy’s. If I were in their shoes I would have stopped the idiot and ask him to leave and offered you a drink of your choice for your troubles. But then, I’m an American (of Irish decent.)

  4. Top, What many don’t understand is how under such pressure…only the true professionals can keep focused on the duty at hand…
    (but in the back of our minds we’re planning on how we’d double tap the fool if the need came up.)

    One of my rules:
    Treat everybody with diginity, respect and kindness…but have a plan ready to kill them if needed.

    Get a video camera and follow me around the last week I’m on the police job before I retire. That’ll be the week I explain to some of the “citizens” of the county I work in what they really are…

  5. Levant, but I soooooo wanted to crush him. It crossed my mind to turn and give him a bellowing: “Aaaaroogaahhh!!” He would have wet his pants. It works, I used it in a basketball game against some Burundian military officers. A 7ft Tutsi missed an easy layup when I growled at him. Then they called me for a foul. I was like 50 feet away!

    Saker, that’s what ‘civilzation’ means. You can be rude without someone running their knife into your belly.

    Coffee, some days were there to drink and other days were there to perpetuate the mythology of the Marine Corps.

    CI roller, you remind me of the time I was on duty at the American Embassy in Madrid. One of the local nationals, who was a big wig in our General Services Office, got in my face yelling at the top of his lungs. I was in uniform armed with a .357, baton, pepper spray, and hand cuffs. While this guy was loosing his mind I thought: “This fool has no idea how close to death he really is.”

  6. Hello A’s-1Sgt.

    I commend you on keeping the Corps value on Honor, Duty and Commitment with Dignity by NOT making a new door with that “Jack-A$$”.
    You observed, adapted but by showing GREAT restraint you did not impliment even if you were grinding the molars into powder.

    If that IDOT had been in my face I’m afraid I would not have been able to stop myself from making a new door-way. Restraint at times is not my best asset.

    Again my compliments on your restraint.

    Miss Em
    Austell, Ga.

    Waiting anxiously for Part 3.

  7. I can only think that the comedian skulked away, feeling more than a fool. What a way for him to exit, I’m sure he was never invited again.

  8. Miss Em, restraint really pisses me off too.

    Kanani, I don’t know. He was a well known Irish comedian at the time. We may have discussed looking for him in the parking lot but I don’t remember.

    Cpl Daunhauer, you are a brain surgeon. You do realize there is an e-mail link on the main page right? Let me help you, it’s what I do after all: castrapraetoria1@gmail.com
    Semper Fi

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