Heard In The Clear: PCS Edition

For the uninitiated, PCS stands for permanent change of station. My absence from the interwebs can be attributed to the fact I have been executing orders from the grey, snowy, industrial climes of Cleveland, Ohio, to the arid, dry, desert of Yuma, Arizona. My thoughts on this turn of events can be summed up in one simple sentence: “You don’t have to shovel sunshine.”

In this edition of Heard In The Clear, I’ve recorded a number of choice remarks uttered during the journey. Those of you who have endured a household move here and there may be able to relate.

There are a myriad of tasks to be done during PCS time. No one seems to know what they all are, only that they all need to be completed at once and before you leave. What will your last day of work be? What day will you report in to the new unit? When do you want the movers to roughly handle your personal effects? Where the hell are you going to live once you get there? Will there be enough cat litter for the furry piranhas who are now outraged they were not consulted about this whole “moving” business? It can become what we call in the biz “somewhat busy.”

“We couldn’t have any more balls in the air if we were juggling unneutered Great Danes.”

The pressures of a PCS move can be seismic in scale. How one copes with these stresses can vary with the individual. Stress eating is common.

“In the world of desert toppings, Cool Whip is the crack whore.”

Some are able to come to grips with external stress without resorting to obscene amounts of junk food.

“I’m a big coffee drinker, mostly because I can’t drink wine all day.”

Still others find solace in other areas.

“Sarcasm is the balm that soothes many ailments.”

Sometimes just getting on the road can be fraught with difficulty.

Her: “I feel like I’m forgetting something.”
Him: “You always feel like that.”
Her: “Because I always forget something!”

While traveling, you and your family will have plenty of time to discuss and debate any number of topics. These may include the origin of life, post apocalyptic living, climate change, or various studies posted on Facebook.

“The author is a scientist. Scientists gave us the atom bomb, weaponized anthrax, and Godzilla. You’re going to believe them with that kind of track record?”

Finally, driving across the country offers you to see things you wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to observe. This includes your fellow travelers.

“How come folks who wear t-shirts that read: ‘Drink, Sex, Fun,’ are never people I want to do those things with?”

It’s great to be back gang! Stand by for more tales of high adventure.

Semper Fidelis!

America’s SgtMaj


*Cartoon by Julie Negron.


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    1. Hello there! Welcome to Satan’s armpit. It’s actually a pretty great place to live- except for a couple months out of the year. But I guess you’ve probably seen worse heat.

      Anyway, wanted to say I really enjoy your blog. Glad you’re back at it. Haven’t served, but I’m a DoD contractor at YPG. I saw your and your wife in the grocery store not long ago, but I didn’t want to bother you with blog fanboy stuff.

      Anyway, thanks for keeping the zombies away, and I hope you enjoy your time here!

      Tom W

      1. Aloha Tom! I continue to maintain I will tolerate three or four months of blistering heat over seven months of snowfall. You should have come over and said hello. It would have been a first! So far we’re enjoying our time here, thanks!

    2. You got more cats (or furry piranhas)? I was wondering if The Machines or Zombies got you on the way to your new duty station, and this is the first time you’ve been able to post. I hope all is well and enjoy the sunshine without being vaporized.

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