Heard in the clear!

Life is a good reason to keep a notebook handy. Here is another installment of quotable remarks  spoken wide open for everyone to hear.  

The military life may just be the single best source of unfiltered insights and off hand remarks. We get the word laconic from the Spartans after all:

“In support of the sequester, we are now only giving 80% effort.”

Instructor: “We’re on a tight schedule tomorrow, so we’re going to need you all standing outside of your rooms at 0645 for inspection, so we can run the train and finish quickly.”

Marine: “What the hell kind of inspection are we getting?”

 “The computers are down this morning rendering us completely incapable of defending freedom.”

“If a British Commando says a place is ‘a bit sporty,’ that means someone will be trying to kill you there. Good to know.”

 “Coffee and ibuprofen: the breakfast of champions.”

Interactions between men and women are also a gold mine of pithy one liners and original dialogue:

Her: “How were you even able to function before you met me?”
Him:  “I did things my way instead of yours.”
Her: “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

Her: “I’m not looking at you like you’re a dork. I’m looking at you because you’re a dork.”

Concerning the news media and so called popular culture:

“As soon as I hear the words ‘Jodi Arias’ come out of the TV, I immediately change the channel.”

Her: “He has to be the most boring…”
Him: “Meteorologist?”
Her: “Yeah, I couldn’t even finish my sentence since I lost the will to live.”

Medical professionals enjoy a unique culture of their own and pose interesting questions concerning the human  condition:

My physical therapist is particularly skilled:  “I assure you this won’t hurt me in the slightest.”

Nurse in a Cleveland Emergency Room on St Patty’s Day: “How come only the drunk ones ever ask me out?”

In modern society we seem to take great pride in increasing “awareness” of particular issues by earmarking specific amounts of calendar time in which to be “aware” of things. Some awareness is better than none I suppose:

“Man, I’ll be glad when ‘Worker Safety Week’ is over so I can go back to recklessly speeding through construction zones.

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

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