• May 12, 2014
  • 2

Heard In The Clear!

Stand by for another installment of real life human dialogue too good not to record for posterity.

Dream interpretation is the subject of a number of books and esoteric psychological black magic. Interpret the dreams of military members at your own peril:

“Apparently my dreams of being naked in public have been replaced with wearing an unauthorized uniform in public with a Staff NCO nearby.”

“I still wake up about once a month in a blind terror because I can’t feel my rifle anywhere around me. My wife says I frequently exclaim: ‘Crap! I’m in so much trouble!'”

“The other night I had a dream I was chewing a Gunny’s ass and woke myself up yelling.”

The battle of the sexes rages on:

“Yesterday my wife mentioned she’d like to highlight her hair. I grabbed a Hi-Liter marker and told her to sit down. She did not find it as amusing as I did.”

Her: “Remember that time you called me a gutter whore?”
Him: “I NEVER called you that! ‘Gutter slut’ maybe. It rolls off the tongue better.”

Your philanthropy may be questioned:

“Look! They’re having a walk to end homelessness.” 
“Walking to work might be a good start.”

Concerning social interaction:

“Peer pressure is one thing, beer pressure is quite another.”

Tact – adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues:  

“I’m not here to call anyone’s baby ugly, but some of you have some handsome monkey’s.”

Fun with TSA:

Agent-“General boarding?”
Me-“No, I’m a SgtMaj.”

Carry on with the plan of the day!
America’s SgtMaj

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