Heard In The Clear!

Another edition of real live dialogue heard way out in the open. This is why I always keep a notebook handy. You never known when someone will be casting pearls. 

Overheard at the local donut shop:
Donut ninja: “What can I get you this morning?”
He who shall remain anonymous: “Some discipline.”

Concerning politics:
“Have you noticed that over the last decade our leaders have been showing up with better and better resumes, but getting less and less done?”

Problem solving is a daily occurrence in our armed forces:
“It doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is a Power Point brief.”

Employing your command in accordance with its capabilities is a leadership principle. Unfortunately, some are more capable than others: 
“He’ll never make it because he’s a serial dumb ass.”

Vegetarianism doesn’t bother me personally, but evangelical militant vegans need to be shut down on occasion:
Evangelical Vegetarian: “What’s so ‘manly’ about eating meat? If you go out and hunt down a turkey or deer yourself, maybe that’s one thing.”
Flesh Eater: “Did you go out and farm your own broccoli? Yeah, you can shut up now.”

Concerning social media activism:
“#%[email protected]* your ice bucket challenge.” – Ernest Shackleton

The conduct of your fellow drivers can give great insight into their souls:
“Here’s a thought, if you see someone on their phone and driving give them the finger. They’ll have to put the phone down to respond.”

“The epic motor-vehicular gymnastics drivers execute in order to brazenly get a mere car length ahead of me are both impressive and comically futile.”

 “To all who shall see these presents, greetings. Know ye that when you do not use your turn signal, I hate you with the heat of the sun. I also hate your mother, she’s a dumb hooker.”

Finally, your morning routine is subject forces beyond your control:
“The cats have become expert at ensuring I wake up bright and early. Their latest technique is to roll around in the litter box then sit directly on my slumbering face. Ah the heady scent of morning.”

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

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