It’s back! Overheard live or lifted from the comments of various social media platforms, another edition of remarks too good to be left on the ash pile of history.
There’s self confidence, and then there’s self immolation. Rarely are both seen all at once:
“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry … or not angry … actually, I just don’t think you would like me.”
Phobias, everyone enjoys a different flavor:
“I avoid water parks. Not because of the brain eating viruses, I just don’t dig swimming in other people’s pee.”
Mother Necessity, where would we be?
“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that at some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'”
Identity politics, two great tastes that do not go great together.
“It’s my strong suspicion that if you proudly identify yourself as a ‘cis-gendered male,’ you’re lying.”
Best sales pitch I’ve heard in a while. Unfortunately, your recruiter is lying to you:
“If all you want to do is run around, do pull ups, and punch people in the face -then join the Marines.” – John William Lindley III
Because we should always be careful what we wish for:
“Little did I know that there isn’t a heck of a lot of difference between Jesuits and Gunnery Sergeants.”
Because knee jerk reactions have far reaching consequences:
“Every time someone shits themselves, we all end up wearing diapers.”
From the mouths of babes:
“She’s called Wonder Woman because you don’t know which powers she can do.” H/T Addison Blu
Many people hate this saying, but perception is, in fact, reality:
“I’m not saying you look like a boot lieutenant, but you’re walking around the PX in a collared shirt, with a day pack and a big grin. All you’re missing is a map and a compass.”
Carry on with the plan of the day!