Grandma Got Infected By The Undead

As has become my tradition, a new Christmapocalyptic offering for you this season. Enjoy!

Grandma got infected by the undead
Fighting across the wasteland Christmas eve
You can say there’s no cure for zombie plague
But Grandama mostly just seems really peeved

She’d been cooped up in the bunker all nuclear winter
And we’d begged her not to go
But she slung her rifle and her war gear
Off to battle the undead in the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin’
At a bloody horrific scene
Atop a mountain of undead corpses
Clutching an empty M1 carbine

Grandma got infected by the undead
Fighting across the wasteland Christmas eve
Single handedly she stopped a horde of zombies
For us an apocalyptic holiday reprieve

Now we’re all so proud of Grandma
Though she’s not looking quite so well
Grandpa offered to put one between her eyes
Straight away she told him to go to hell

It wouldn’t be the apocalypse without Grandma
But the plague’s turned her eyes black
What do we do if she turns undead
Should we just chain her up out in the back?

Grandma got infected by the undead
Fighting across the wasteland Christmas eve
The fever is really burning her up badly
Might be time to grant her eternal peace

Now a pistol’s on the table
But no one wants to do the deed
Angrily Grandma grabs the weapon
Calling us foul names as she turns to leave

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors
Don’t cross Grandma when there’s undead to slay
She’s a tough old broad when her blood’s up
Not even infectious plague stands in her way

Grandma got infected by the undead
Fighting across the wasteland Christmas eve
You can say there’s no cure for zombie plague
But Grandama could give a rat’s ass what you believe

Merry Christmas!

America’s SgtMaj

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