Feel better about the Mayan apocalypse

Despite the fact Mayan civilization failed to even produce a wheel or predict the day Conquistadors landed, there seems to be a lot of gravity given to the end of their calendar. The Camp of the Praetorians wants to make your transition to a post apocalyptic world less fearful and more cuddly.

Introducing Apocalypse Kitten!

Apoca-kitty takes a turkey peak over the couch. Keeping a low profile is important when the schumer hits the fan.

 Apocalypse Kitty wants you to know the end of the world as we know it doesn’t have to be as gloomy as you’ve been led to believe. With a little prior planning, you too can prevent a piss poor apocalypse.

Apoca-kitty selects his bug out gear. A good tomahawk is handy when prying open the odd can of tuna.

Apocalypse Kitty also advises continuous training in order to keep your individual skills sharp.

Here Apoca-Kitty practices urban camouflage and concealment. Can you spot him?

Always keeping his weapons within paws reach, Apocalypse Kitty is ready for action in the blink of an eye.

“Say when.”

Contagion, asteroids, or aliens, Apocalypse Kitten recommends your plan remain flexible in order to respond to all variables. He generally believes if your plan can survive the undead it will endure any emergency. Plenty of cat nip is a good start.

Feel better now?

* Disclaimer: America’s SgtMaj does not endorse anything “cute” as a general rule. It is not a word in his lexicon. The only reason the Apocalypse Kitten is allowed to reside under the same roof is his penchant for edged weapons and potential mousing capability. *

Semper Fidelis,
America’s SgtMaj

/ / / /

22 comments

  1. Well, he keeps at least 16 (unless he is one of the 5 toed Slayers of the Apocalypse) sharp, pointy weapons on his person (kitten-son? Feline-son?)at all times which he sharpens daily to keep battle ready. (Usually on your leg.) Seems worthy to abide in the house of Praetoria. Hapy Holidays!

  2. America’s SgtMaj:

    Nice cat. First thing to teach the cat is the meaning of the word no. Next thing is to show up when you open the food container. (Oh, right. The cat already has that one down.)

    Paul L. Quandt

  3. This shows us that ASM has a softer side from time to time. Dont worry we wont tell any of your Marines.

    BTW Today is the end of the world, see you tomorrow.

  4. Just say it, damn. The reason you have been on hiatus with your posts is you have a new woman in your life.
    Women = kittens, Occam’s Razor.
    Now if Apoca-Kitty was a 400 pound attack Bengal tiger, then I would believe you don’t endorse any kitten cuteness. Living with a mountain lion is about as manly as you can get. Thundercats!

  5. Mark, both statements are a complete fabrication.

    Kanani, I had to use a dictionary to find out what those words meant.

    Okie, in all seriousness Nov and Dec on I&I is pretty much all about Toys for Tots and military funeral honors. It’s all we have time for. We’ve processed some 240,000 toys and have done 11 funerals this week alone.

    Lin, smack yourself in the mouth right now. As if…

  6. Merry Christmas to your whole household Sergeant Major. Post us a pic when Corporal Cat brings the holiday tree down. – Zail

  7. Uh oh. Burke has a kitty cat. It’s the end of the world as we know it.
    Glad to see you have not suffered any damage to your funny bone. 🙂

    Merry Christmas…to you AND Apocalypta.

  8. My cats (3) are covered in stripes. The arrangement is non-reg and leaves me confused on their rank. All are quite certain they are in command of this AO.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *