On deployments the importance of brewing a magic mug of victory cannot be understated. Waiting on gurgling, hissing, coffee brewing contraptions can be hypnotic.
|Like a toilet flushing, its brown water swirls in your mind.|
Many a morning I shuffled into the COC castigating young lieutenants for not having the great silver bullet prepped with its life giving nectar. Some of them were even under the mistaken impression that since they didn’t drink coffee then they didn’t have to make sure any was brewed. Fools.
Ever see a 2nd Lt try and talk over a caffeine deprived 1stSgt? In my experience it goes like this:
“1stSgt, if you want coffee made in the mor-“
“RRAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!$%*&#@OIC?? &*%#$^%COFFEE!!%*#[email protected]!&*^@USELESS!!”
Another fine Iraqi morning I loomed into the COC early, as I often did. Surly, I pronounced their morning report and state of the COC was satisfactory upon discovering the silver bullet had already been fired up and was ready to serve.
|America’s greatest wartime invention.|
As I poured myself a cup I noticed the color was off. It seemed rather light, almost like the color of tea. Had we been infiltrated by the English?
Interrogating the Lance Corporal radio operator who “made” the coffee, he assured me he had prepared the silver bullet as instructed. He had filled it with water and put coffee in the filter and everything.
I removed the lid of the silver bullet to inspect his work and sure enough, he had indeed filled the filter with coffee…beans. I cursed him and his addiction to sugary energy drinks as an un-American Communist plot. You’d think knowing how to operate a silver bullet would be a requirement to graduate boot camp. A hip pocket class on the operation of the silver bullet ensued, complete with functions check. The professional development of young Marines is my responsibility after all.
For the record, America’s 1stSgt takes his coffee hot and dark. Read into that what you will. Like my shipmate NavyOne, I too do not wash my coffee mug. This mystifies my CO but I have never caught him using my mug either.
More caffeinated musing later!