Breakfast of Champions

Every week the Inspector & Instructor staff like to conduct a little unit PT. Well, they may not like it but my CO and I love to thrash the dog $#@& out of Marines a decade or more younger than we are.

It’s no secret I have a strong dislike for sports as PT. Not that I disapprove in principle, it’s just not my thing personally. I have a special loathing in particular for basketball. This mostly has to do with the fact that I possess none of the skills required to excel at or simply enjoy the game. If I were captured by terrorists and the conditions of my release included free throws, I’d end up decapitated for sure.

So anyone want to guess what we did for PT today? That’s right, the sport which is credited for injuring more Marines annually than any other activity: BASKETWONDERFULNESSBALL!

It is a universal truth that Marines hate losing more than the love winning. Despite my utter detestation for basketball I dislike losing even more. To make up for my lack of ball handling and shooting skills, I pretty much foul the snot out of anyone who comes in arms reach of me during the game and basically get in the way of opposing players. A game of hoops with me on the team generally resembles something like this:

Someone mentioned a pick and I thought they meant icepick.

Since my hand skills suck, I employ knees, elbows, the errant shove, and the odd belly to belly suplex beneath the net. My entire strategy is to take the ball away from someone on the other team and give it to someone on my team as violently as possible. On the up side, all the Marines earn about twenty minutes of grappling remediation time towards their next MCMAP belt.

Despite my lack of offensive scoring capability, my team won the pick up tournament we played for morning PT. Of course, no victory comes without a price. I limped off the court with a strained tendon and flexing a horrifically jammed finger which has since turned various shades of purple and is now as big around as my wrist. After a shower I settled down for a winner’s breakfast.

Just like mom used to make!

It still amazes me I can walk off a basketball court more seriously injured than the last time I was caught in an IED blast. Go figure.

Enjoy the weekend!

Semper Fidelis!
America’s SgtMaj

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