The Brain Surgeon Report

Here in the Air Wing of the world’s finest United States Marine Corps, we have day and night crews continually working maintenance on our aircraft. As I don’t always hang out with the night crew and rarely get to see the entire squadron at once in formation, I’ve taken to crafting a weekly e-mail to the squadron by way of a liberty brief. I decided this is also good gouge for all of you going about your business this weekend, so pay attention:

DUIs and other malfeasance have spiked across the entire Wing. The Green Knights are not above the finger pointing on this issue. Some time ago we had a brain surgeon spend the entire night imbibing hard liquor and playing more drinking games than Milton Bradley. Sometime during the course of this debauching, our hero somehow convinced a woman to accompany him back to base. Upon reaching the front gate, the MPs noted he smelled like the floor of a tap room and executed a field sobriety test which our man failed. Eventually he would blow a .2 BAC.

I’m not bothered by the partying or the questionable decision behind bringing a strange woman back to base (in hindsight, all parties involved agree she just wasn’t worth the effort to begin with). In the end, for the amount of money our guy lost through NJP, he could have spent the weekend in Las Vegas at a luxury hotel in far better looking company. It was just piss poor decision making all around.

Warpigs, remember each of us is the architect of our own destiny. Even under the influence of alcohol, know that you chose to take the very first drink and accepted all the follow on consequences, particularly the unintended ones.

America needs us to not be dumb asses. When the call goes out: “Send in the Marines!” It would be nice if the response wasn’t: “Not those ass clowns!”

Picking up what I’m putting down?

Semper Fidelis!

America’s SgtMaj

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    1. SgtMaj:

      I wish I could put my son ( the no-longer-on-active-duty Marine ) in front of you so that he might benefit from your wisdom. He either has or soon will have a serious issue with alcohol. Any words of advice for a father who doesn’t have a CO looming behind him as a threat/backup? Both his mother and I are worried and, as yet, have come up with no good ideas.


      1. I generally remind my Marines they are the architects of their own destiny. As soon as their lips touch alcohol they can assume all judgment has gone out the window. Being in a drunken state is not an excuse to violate the law as individuals make the conscious choice to drink booze. I find the desire to drink obscene amounts of alcohol is something many young men must simply grow out of.

        1. Thank you for your reply, SgtMaj. Perhaps not the answer I was looking for, but likely the best answer to be had.

          I have spoken to him about your blog and hope to sit him down in front of it. Perhaps he will read enough of it to see this exchange.

          Thanks again,

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