A Culinary Conundrum

On occasion I get e-mails from folks wishing to guest blog or for me to pass some word along to those who may be interested. When I thought it appropriate I have done so in the past. Other times I merely ignore the request.

Recently I have received no less than two requests regarding guest posting or sharing a link about recipes.  My reaction: “Whuh?”

Are these people paying attention to what my blog is about? America’s 1stSgt doesn’t spend time in the kitchen! He spends time on the battlefield! This is about flashing swords, sweat, and gun smoke! Blasphemous! This would be as nonsensical as say, my producing a yoga video.

However, after consulting with fellow bloggers Kanani and NavyOne, I have decided to relent on my somewhat rigid content and give this questionable material a shot. So here goes…

During the month of December I will post recipes by guest bloggers. Don’t get your aprons in a bunch as this will come with some guidelines and restrictions:

1) Said posts will have a Christmas holiday theme mashed up with a zombie apocalyptic flavor. It is preferable said dishes not actually taste like walking corpses though. If I wanted that I’d simply direct everyone to the nearest box of MREs.

2) Words like swashbuckling, gun slinger, hard core, and world’s finest United States Marine Corps, or the equivalent,  should be used liberally and often. And yes, you may mention zombies or monsters.

3) You must send a care package containing your confections to a deployed unit of your choice. I know I have a service preference, but as a radical supporter of individual freedom I’ll leave it up to you.  A good place to look up units is at AnySoldier.com. Readers from outside the United States are encouraged to support a unit from their nation. We appreciate loyalty here at the Camp of the Praetorians. [ The New Magoo shared this link for Support Our Soldiers. Cool!]

4) Pictures! There must at least be photographic evidence of you actually mailing your package.

Gathering loot for the troops in Iraq December 2007.

Now this sounds like something America’s 1stSgt can sink his teeth into!

Further guidance on mailing overseas can be found at Boots On The Ground and here are some FAQs on mailing to FPO/APO addresses including when to ship in time for Christmas.

I will post as many recipes as meet the standards even if this means every day, twice a day during the month of December. If there is that much traffic I may start in November. Click on the Ask America’s 1stSgt link to the right for contact info.

Refer all questions to comments. No one’s feelings will get hurt if your package doesn’t get there by Christmas. Troops dig getting stuff all year ’round.

Semper Fidelis!
America’s 1stSgt

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  1. Are we to expect a “Household Hints Month” early next year as we all get stuck into our spring-cleaning? If anyone has any ideas how to get ink out of suede, i’d love to hear them.

    But srsly, great idea.

    For your British readers: the whole care package idea isn’t as widespread in the UK as it is in the States, so unless you know someone, it can be difficult to actually get a parcel out there. These guys can do it for you:


    and despite their name, they do support all services.

  2. Hmm… sadly the “cook it and post it” thing is probably not my strong point 🙁

    As for Zombie-inspired food…
    I’d mention the “M” word but that “Cease and Desist” letter was pretty clear about not shipping it to the Swashbuckling many ever again.

    So how about I instead support someone from Anysoldier.com – and tell them that YOU (and Major Pain – http://www.onemarinesview.com) said I should?

    [always ‘hard core’ for a good cause. Oh and “Plays nicely with others” too – just in case Santa is taking notes :D]

  3. Hmmm…A Zombie Apocalypse Christmas themed recipe. This could take some thought. I don’t think the “Joy of Cooking” covers how to prepare Zombies.

  4. I do think I would love to see you in a yoga video. The outfit first and then the poses.. I am sure you got the hand stand down..

  5. Anonymous One, the yoga video I would produce would not quite be what everyone would expect. Also, what’s with the anonymity? Get a cool call sign like the rest of us!

    NavyOne, fresh maggots are always best. I hate opening up a big box of flies.

  6. I think you should kick off the proceedings, A1S. What’re you gonna cook for your lads and lasses?

    Also, i now have you, zombies and yoga going round and round in my head. Corpse pose will never be the same again. It’s worse than when my middle nephew announced that he wanted to come to my pirates (pilates] class. It’s not good to be giggling during such activities, y’know.

  7. I’ve heard that maggots and weevils are high in protein, making them appropriate food for the living and the living dead alike.

    Me, personally, I prefer chocolate ice cream, but there’s no accounting for tastes.

  8. Not to steal anyone’s thunder, but a few years ago Weber (the grill company) sponsored a series of grilling competitions at Marine Corps bases across the U.S. Some of the more notable recipes were compiled into a book. Proceeds from the sale of the book go to charities that support Marines and their families.

    You can find out more about the book here, including ordering information. Check it out – you might even recognize some of the people in it.

  9. I’ll see if I can’t drag a recipe out of the old bastage at the St. Louis Drive-In or the old wreck running the Okazu-ya next door. So many people go in and come out Zombies, the common term you may remember is Kanaka-itis!! I’m sure they scrape the floors for a base for the gravy for the loco moco and leftover fryer grease for good ole teri glaze!!

  10. Phili-Chicken in a Pan.
    Start with a 9 inch (standard) skillet.
    One onion. Dice.
    One green pepper. Dice
    Two large chicken breasts. Cut into strips.
    Worcestershire sauce. Three tablespoons(?).
    Five slices of provolone cheese.
    Hoagie buns.

    Coat the bottom with olive oil or cooking oil.
    Cook chicken. Remove chicken.
    Coat the bottom again.
    Add onions. Cook to soften, about two minutes.
    Add green peppers. Cook to soften, about another two minutes.
    Add chicken and Worcestershire sauce to skillet. I’ve never actually measured how much Worcestershire sauce I use. Don’t put too much, but don’t worry if you do just leave it cooking it will cook off.
    Cook a few more minutes stirring to season the chicken.
    Turn off heat. Add the slices of provolone to cover the chicken pepper mixture. The cheese will melt over the mixture. Scoop out and serve on hoagie buns or whatever. Enjoy.
    Basically this is a cook the chicken. Soften the green peppers and onions. Melt the cheese over it. Serve. Most people know to cook the chicken until done.

    I can’t believe with all the female followers you have that you didn’t get at least ONE recipe.

  11. It’s damn nigh impossible to produce a recipe that fulfils all your criteria:
    Holiday theme/zombies & monsters/A1S-ish language/able to be mailed AND photographic evidence of it being so.

    Some of us are too busy playing Plants vs Zombies *cough* umm… working to like, bother thinking about all of that.
    Remove some of your caveats, i can definitely come up with something.

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