– Lieutenant-General Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller
Our focus of effort most recently has been directed toward an inspection we have been enduring, or more accurately, a Staff Assist Visit (SAV). The purpose of the SAV is to give the commander an idea of how well his functional areas are performing in accordance with Marine Corps standards. Our CO requested the SAV to ensure he was turning over a good product to his successor.
In my professional opinion, inspections should be welcomed as an opportunity to make improvements and refine how your unit operates. Personally, I hate being inspected with the very fiber of my being. There are some deep seeded personal issues I have with being inspected in general which I will discuss another time.
Mostly, I just loathe paperwork.
One of the principal dangers of getting promoted is eventually the Marine Corps will take your Marines away and give you a desk in trade. This is called hell. According to the billet description on my fitness report my desk centric duties include:
– Senior enlisted advisor to the Company Commander.
– Advise the Company Commander on disciplinary matters for infractions of the UCMJ.
– Instill Marine Corps values, customs and courtesies in the Marines and observe training and morale of the Company.
– Develop the professional and personal lives of Marines through formal classes,
mentoring, and informal discussions.
– Evaluate and provide recommendations on retention, promotion, proficiency and conduct of Marines.
– Accurately fulfill and review all Company administrative matters [the horror!] in accordance with established orders and directives.
– Assist in the development and enforcement of company policies in compliance with those of higher headquarters.
– Provide mentorship and leadership for the company’s officers, SNCOs, and NCOs.
– Alternate Family Advocacy Case Review Committee Command Representative.
According to my old battalion SgtMaj, America’s 1stSgt may be the most administratively inept 1stSgt on Earth and the Milky Way.
In Iraq I would join Marine patrols during the day and at night endured a blistering butt chewing from the SgtMaj over a land line: “I know you’re going on patrols with the Marines and that’s great. But your admin is suffering! Stop going on patrols and get some work done! You know, your REAL job?” I spent the next day indignantly punching my fingers through a keyboard. Stupid admin.
My personal favorite administrative endeavor is rosters. In the Marine Corps we have a roster for everything. Marriage rosters, personnel rosters, school rosters, awards rosters, light duty rosters, legal rosters, barracks occupancy rosters, duty rosters, training rosters, motorcycle rosters, weight control rosters, safety rosters, emergency data rosters, phone rosters, deployment rosters, non-deployment rosters, non-availability rosters, recall rosters, shot rosters, and on and on. If you can conceive of it the Marine Corps already has a roster to track who has anything to do with it. There are various class rosters to prove things like the fact that you actually told Marines not to drink and drive, not to take drugs, not to commit suicide, not to abuse alcohol, and to wear a seat belt. Kill me.
Fortunately the SAV is going well and we are looking forward to being found “mission capable”. I will also have you know there were no findings or discrepancies in any of the areas I was inspected.
TAKE THAT SGTMAJ!!!