Heard in the clear!

Real life dialog will always be a better product than anything Shakespeare could have crafted. I always keep a pad and pen handy. I never know when someone will cast a pearl my way. What follows are more remarks heard out loud on the open net and recorded for posterity.

Military courtesy is a double edged sword:

“At Camp Johnson, I learned that all enlisted needing to salute all officers was the second lieutenant’s center of gravity. I also learned that the requirement to return each salute was the second lieutenant’s critical vulnerability.”

Coffee is also a critical vulnerability:

“Can’t live the pogue life without a coffeepot.”

Land navigation is a dying skill set. For some it’s a daily battle against the evils of urban life:

“The longest 35 miles in the world is between Quantico and the Pentagon.”

Discipline, results may vary:

“Yesterday I was in the supermarket and the bakery ninjas had set out samples of brownies with cream cheese frosting. What kind of irresponsible jerks would leave kryptonite just laying around like that?”

The sex talk, some parents will just never be ready:

“Mom, the fact that I exists proves you’ve been laid.”

Him vs Her, the struggle is real:

Him:”Want all these $1 bills?”
Her: “I told you I don’t do that anymore.”

Her: “If something ever happened to my voice and I couldn’t speak … “
Him: “Wait, let me imagine that for a minute.”
SMACK!

Noting other people’s efforts at self improvement is always a positive thing to do:

“She’s less abrasive nowadays, like a lovable brillo pad.”

The wisdom of your parents is not to be taken lightly:

“Mom always said to feed your guests well. It keeps them from taking your towels.”

Some people have self esteem issues, others just have issues with esteeming themselves:

“I used to have a t-shirt that said: WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW, but it’s too small now.”

 

Semper Fidelis!

America’s SgtMaj

 

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